


Good Morning

by Bideroo



Category: Free!
Genre: Accidental Sexting, Aged-Up Character(s), M/M, No Smut, Rare Pairings, Rated for Explicit Language, chat fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-02-04 15:15:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18607126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bideroo/pseuds/Bideroo
Summary: Rei's chat logs from an eventful morning, wherein he received some... unexpected eye candy.R: Ryuugazaki ReiN: Hazuki NagisaU: Unknown Number





	Good Morning

R: So, I've had a big morning.

N: Yeah?

R: Indeed.

N: ?

N: Well, are you going to tell me about it, or continue to be a fucking weird?

R: I'm not a weird. I'm building suspense. (supervillain laugh)

N: K, not a weird, an asshole.

R: Fair.

R: I woke up this morning to three text messages from an unknown number.

R: And they are all pictures.

R: Nude.

N: WHAT?

R: Yes. Two dick pics, and one of a naked ass.

N: What the fuck?

R: I have no idea. But… Holy shit. I kind of need to know this guy. Wow.

N: HAHAHAHAAA

N: Send them to meeeeee

R: HELL NO. The guy clearly didn't even mean to send them to ME. I'm not going to pass a stranger's nekkid photos around.

N: UUUUGH, I TIRE OF YOUR ENDLESS VIRTUE

N: So did you like… respond?

R: No. I know if it were me, and I woke up in the morning and discovered I'd sent something like that to a complete stranger, I would, while wishing for the sweet embrace of death, hope the other person would be discreet enough to forget it ever happened, and not send me a bunch of messages rubbing my face in my own mess.

N: Yeah, but… You just said you want to know the guy. (waggles eyebrows) 

R: I was just making a joke. But… Wow. I've not had my hands on such high quality merchandise in a very, very long time. The guy's fucking RIPPED.

N: Hahahahaa… Rei. Could it hurt to just send a quick message? Like, 'hey, sorry, these got sent to me, and now I kinda need to bang you'.

R: Hahahahaaa! I just got another text from him. Said 'OH MY GOD I'M SO SORRY'

N: START A CONVERSATION

R: what the fuck

R: His next message said 'I totally owe you for this, Rei. Let me buy you lunch or something.'

N: WHAAAAAAAT????!!!?

N: HE FUCKING KNOWS WHO YOU ARE

N: WHO IS IT? Oh my god the suspense is going to fucking murderate me

R: Hang on, I'm scared to reply. Because holy shit that ass

R: Who do I possibly know that looks that goddamned good? And why does he have my number but I don't have his?

N: Don't be scared!! I'M DYING OVER HERE

R: What should I say?

N: Say 'DAMN STRAIGHT you owe me, and I want dinner and raunchy sex. Also whothefuckisthis'

R: Hahahahaa

R: Okay, gimme a sec

_________________________

 

U: I totally owe you for this, Rei. Let me buy you lunch or something.

R: I'm about to triple the awkwardness of this already delightfully awkward exchange, but… Who is this?

U: OH DEAR GOD

U: You mean I could have passed that off as a complete 'stranger danger wrong number' thing? GOD DAMN IT. Forget it.

U: If I thought I wanted to die before, I was sorely mistaken.

U: I don't know you, you don't know me, and please, PLEASE wipe this from your mind. Permanently.

R: You know… You're quite photogenic.

U: HA! Um, thank you? I guess?

R: You're very welcome. And how am I now, somehow, NOT owed lunch for what you've done, just because I do not happen to have your number saved in my phone? TAKE RESPONSIBILITY!

U: I'd rather forget this whole unfortunate thing happened.

R: Well, isn't that convenient for you. (sigh) Fine, then. Thanks for the wank material.

U: Uh.

U: Are you into dudes? 

R: I'm not particular. Attractive is attractive. And those photos were very, very attractive.

U: Holy shit. Wow. I… I was not expecting this.

R: ^^ Me upon awakening this morning

U: Haha, yeah, I bet!

U: Seriously, I'm so sorry.

R: I'm not. :)

U: Well, right. As you mentioned.

R: So… are you "into dudes"? (laughs) Asking for a friend.

U: I also am not particular

R: SO YOU'RE SAYING I HAVE A CHANCE

U: Oh my god, you're killing me!!! Hahahahaaa

U: I would have never expected such shameless flirting out of Ryuugazaki Rei.

R: See, this shit isn't fair. I. DON'T. KNOW. WHO. YOU. ARE.

U: I'll tell you who I am if you'll send me a picture of your cock.

R: I feel like I'm making a deal with the devil

U: Maybe

R: I am not the one who sexted my way into an uncomfortable situation.

U: Cool then. Enjoy never knowing. 

R: This is some bullshit.

R: Fuuuuuuck. Is soft okay?

U: Nope. Use my pictures and get hard. hahahahaaaaa

R: So you are hung, built, AND AN ASSHOLE

U: I can't argue with you there.

R: I'm not sure why, but I'm so fucking embarrassed you'd think I was the one that started this whole thing. I think I'm terrified I'm going to discover you're a former professor of mine from university or something.

U: I am definitely not.

R: SO YOU SAY

R: Give me a sec

U: hahahaa. Take your time.

R: [image]

U: Oh my god.

U: Um… Thank you. If I had known you were swinging that goddamned thing around between your legs all these years, I'd have jumped you a long time ago.

R: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? You've known me for years?? Why don't I have your fucking number?

U: Hahahahaa! 

_________________________

 

R: OH MY GOD NAGISA

N: GAAAAAAH I THOUGHT YOU WERE NEVER GOING TO GET BACK TO ME!!

R: oh my god

N: EEEEEEEEE who was it???

R: Dear god. Holy lord. I have a date tomorrow.

N: I AM FUCKING DYING HERE. WHO THE FUCK WAS IT

R: We knew him in high school

N: ?

N: And you didn't have his phone number?

R: He wasn't from Iwatobi.

N: Eh? And we both knew him?

R: Hahahahaa, oh my god. Unfuckingbelievable. Yes, we knew him. Not well or anything, but.

N: EEEEEW NOT COACH SASABE

R: Oh for fuck's sake, Nagi, no! And also I have HIS phone number.

N: Stop making me play the guessing game and just tell me, you fucking prick

R: You get two more guesses.

N: I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF A SPIRITED BATTLE OF 'NAGISA VS. COMPUTER' ON MARIO KART. I do not have time for this horseshit.

R: Cool. Stay in the dark.

N: I fucking hate you

R: Sure you do.

N: …

N: So we both knew him in high school, but he wasn't FROM our high school. Oh!!!!! So was he from Samezuka?

R: ding ding ding

N: REALLY

N: huh

N: Ok… Did he swim?

R: Yes. How else would we know him?

N: True. Ok, and we didn't know him well, so that rules out a few people. OH SHIT! IS IT SOUSUKE??

R: Ha! I'd completely forgotten about that guy. No, not him. Funny enough, I still have his number, too.

N: What the… 

N: Hang on, bout to win this race.

R: Sure.

N: I'M BACK. Alright, shit's getting serious. I have only one guess left. (rubs chin) 

N: Did we swim in a relay against him?

R: No.

N: I keep thinking of people, but either you'd have their phone numbers, or they would have no reason to have yours.

N: THIS IS HARD

R: (resisting urge to make tastefully elegant dong joke) 

N: ^^ Prolly the most tastefully elegant dong joke I've heard.

N: Shiiiiit… Let's see. Um. Have you seen or spoken to this person since high school?

R: Maybe a few times in college? I can't really remember.

N: Huh.

N: Is his face as attractive as you found his… bits?

R: Most certainly.

N: Wait, so he actually IS hot?

R: Unbelievably so. He was then, and the pic he sent me a few minutes ago makes me think he has aged like a fine wine.

N: OH HOLY SHIT NO WAY

R: Mm?

N: He has your number but you don't have his. He was hot as fuck. From Samezuka. We never raced him. 

N: I almost don't have the heart to guess, because my jealousy might set my surroundings on fire if I'm right.

R: Mm?

N: REI YOU ARE A FUCKING LUCKY BASTARD

N: I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HE WAS INTO GUYS

R: Whatever are you talking about?

N: That's it. I hate you. We're done. 20 years of friendship down the drain.

R: Right, right. So does that mean I should only make enough curry for one, tonight?

N: DAMNIT

N: You always pull me back into your clutches with your fantastic cooking and ridiculous kindness and just generally being the best person I know.

R: Awww. I love you too, peach.

N: It's Mikoshiba Seijuurou, isn't it.

R: It is. (slightly insane giggling) 

N: I FUCKING HATE YOU AND NO AMOUNT OF CURRY WILL MAKE UP FOR HOW MOTHERFUCKING JEALOUS I AM RIGHT NOW

R: 7 okay for dinner?

N: (cries into room-temperature coffee) Yes.

R: See you then.

**Author's Note:**

> I seem to be a sucker for rarepairs, and also anything to do with Ryuugazaki Rei. <3 I know this is short and really doesn't... go... anywhere, but I saw a prompt online for 'surprise naked photo' and thought it would be fun to play around with that. I'd like to write a more fleshed-out (heh, flesh) fic for these two, maybe what happens next, or maybe a different scenario entirely, but I'm not sure where I want to go with it. Ideas are welcome. :) Un-betaed, so I apologize for mistakes!
> 
> 2019.04.27: Mm, a buddy of mine pointed out that Nagisa and Rei's 'personalities' in this fic are very much based off a different story I wrote, which I have not had the guts to post here yet, as it is ridiculously self-indulgent and EPICALLY LONG. Like, soooo long. But I think I could cover the basics by saying these two seemed passionate and heart-felt and serious about being good people in Free!, and they seem like kids that would grow up into goofy, passionate, well-rounded adults. So. <3 Thanks for tolerating me.


End file.
